I am Andromache
by Secret Echoes
Summary: In the final days before the fall of Troy Andromache reflects.


This was originally written as an assignment for a Classical Studies paper on the Trojan War. The assignment was to choose one of the main characters from The Illiad and write a diary detailing their experiences during the end of the war. As it was an assignment it had a word count limit, originally I intend to expand on what I wrote for the assignment, but it hasn't happened so you get it as is. Each paragraph should be considered a diary entry on its own, entries are chronological, but not necessarily occuring right after another on a day to day basis.

All the names are in their greek form rather than their romanised versions and I have tried to be as accurate as the literary records I had available at the time allow, taking into account the many different versions of the Troy story around. There is a bibliography at the end detailing where my information came from and any errors found within are all my own.

With much thanks for the wonderful information imparted to me over the years and the great fun I had learning it this is dedicated to the Classics department of Victoria University of Wellington.

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**I am Andromache**

I am Andromache, wife of Hektor, and a Princess and daughter of Troy. From the most royal to the lowliest of slaves we the people of Troy live in a most difficult time, for Troy is at war. Not a small border dispute, or even a fight against one of the Achaean city states, no this time Troy fights against the combined forces of all of the Achaeans. We are besieged and daily I watch my husband, my brothers, my family and my people go beyond what safety our mighty walls give us to do battle with the men of Greece. The men of Troy boast mightily that they will conquer the Achaean dogs, and that the poets will forever tell of their bravery and honor, but I see little glory in the bloodshed and death that surround my beloved city, and despite the assurances of the men, I fear for my future and for that of my son and husband. I am not sure why I have been driven to record such things, perhaps it is the whisper of gentle Clio in my dreams that causes me to write this.

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I wish I could say it was not always like this, that there was not always the call to battle and the weeping widows of the fallen being comforted by those who feared that theirs would be the same fate. This war has been fought for many years and I am new come to this walled citadel. I came to marry Hektor, my marriage a strengthening of the alliance between my Father and Priam King of Troy. I had not expected to love this city ravaged by war or my husband, a man I had never met, but Troy is a beautiful place the scars of war aside and her people kind and brave, so strong in their struggle, and my beloved Hektor is so noble and sweet that I could not help but love him. I will not speak of my childhood home for it saddens me still to think of it no matter how much I love this place, but rather of my arrival. I arrived weary and travel sore and had not expected the sight that lay before me, rather than the bleak outlook of a war subjugated nation I was greeted by laughing women and children and jovial men. Perhaps it was merely happiness for the marriage of their crown prince or perhaps it was that my naïve eyes did not yet notice the shadow that hung over Troy. Or perhaps it was that the lively spirit of my new people had yet to be crushed by their impending fate.

*

Some speak her name in anger, or sorrow, others in pity, everyone seems to have made some kind of judgment concerning her, but I am not sure what I feel about her. Helen. The name, the woman behind this war. It seems strange to me to fight a war over one woman, and yet not only do two great armies do so daily, but the individuals of each side of the conflict argue amongst themselves over her. Some say she is nothing but a slut, an adulterous whore who shamed her husband by running away with another man, some say she was an innocent victim, abducted against her will in the name of lust, others argue neither Helen nor Paris are to blame that it was the machinations of the gods that led to this, and others who say she is nothing but a scapegoat, an excuse for a conflict over trade routes and wealth. I think perhaps the truth is a little of each of these, even if she loved Paris she should not have betrayed her husband, and while Paris may have pressured her into leaving it seems unlikely that he would not only abduct her, but snatch away her legitimate issue as well. I do not know if I blame her for the hardships the city must endure, but I do pity her, it hurts her to see the look of disgust and hate on the faces of those who blame her, and it near destroys her to see the destruction in her name, whatever her reasons for coming to Troy, she could not have expected the horror that followed her.

*

There has been news from the battlefield. Achilleus one of the greatest warriors among the Achaeans has not been seen for some days. It is said that he could not be dead for surely such news would spread swiftly, someone would have claimed responsibility for such an important death. Rumors run through out the citadel that perhaps the mighty warrior has grown weary of besieging our city, and of fighting a cause not his own. I pray that this is so, maybe this is a sign that the gods will be merciful and that we will prevail.

*

Paris seemed to take Achilleus' disappearance as an indication of a change in fortune for Troy for today he challenged Menelaos to single combat, whoever won would keep Helen. It was a noble and yet foolish challenge, Paris is at least taking responsibility for his part in this mess, but even if this war truly began solely over Helen, it has gone beyond that now. There have been too many deaths, this war has gone on for too long for there to be a truce, I can not foresee either army ceasing until the other is totally destroyed. I wonder how Helen feels over such a decision, while as women we have very little say in what happens to us, we still feel. Does Helen pray for Paris to win, for the triumph of her adopted home, or does she desire to return to Sparta. She betrayed her husband and has reaped nothing but pain and sorrow, sometimes she looks at Paris and her look of sorrow is replaced by one of loathing, of him or for herself I do not know. However no solution presented itself. They say Paris ran, that he fled in terror from Menelaos' wrath, the more kind hearted make muttered excuses about goddesses and protection, that Aphrodite kept her favored one safe. Divine intervention or mortal cowardice, the Achaeans will think this more Trojan treachery. It is dishonorable of me, but despite knowing that Paris' death would have achieved nothing, I find myself contemplating a future without him. Would there be peace? Or would those mighty warriors find some other motive for this bloodshed? I would wish that I had never come here, but I love this place so, and I could not wish away my brave husband or my sweet child, so instead as I wearily go about my day I wish that Paris had never met Helen.

*

The battles raged fiercely today, and I am so afraid, what kind of a place is this to bring up a child. My sweet son is innocent of any wrong doing and yet he will suffer if the Achaeans win solely because of his blood. The women all know what our fate will be, should the worst happen, and our city be overrun with enemy warriors. We will watch our fathers, brothers, husbands and sons killed, and for ourselves, death if we are lucky, slavery if we are not. Yet despite the horror of submitting to the killer of my kin, I would do so eagerly should it provide the smallest chance my son would live.

*

I have told my fears to my husband; my father and mother are far from me and yet I have made my self a new home, found myself a new family here in Troy, here with Hektor, but I am afraid it will all be destroyed. I have begged my husband to stay home, to leave the battlefield to others, but my beloved Hektor refuses. He will not be a coward, he will be honorable and do all he can to protect his people to the bitter end. Rather then echo hollow sentiments about glory and victory he told me of his own fears both for Astyanax and myself, and for our people. No man can avoid his fate he said, it will be as the gods ordained. But oh! What have we done that they have cast such suffering upon us?

*

I wish my husband was selfish and a coward, that he had heeded my plea for him not to fight against the Achaeans, for him to have stayed safe here with me, hidden behind these strong walls. If only he had not gone onto that battlefield, if only he had not been such a brave warrior. For had he stayed behind this day such an awful thing would not of happened, he would not have doomed himself, and in doing so doomed his family as well. On this calamitous day my poor sweet husband slew the great warrior Achilleus, or at least he thought he had. What should have been a day for rejoicing turned swiftly to sorrow when it was discovered that the man that Hektor fought was not Achilleus, but Patroklos. In slaying the disguised man Hektor has brought down the wrath of Achilleus upon himself.

*

My husband, father of my son, is dead. Achilleus has slain him, he has desecrated my loves body, and denies him passage to the underworld. It is quiet here as the city mourns, we thought Hektor would be safe, that as our prince the gods would protect him. But we were wrong. If the heavens will not keep Hektor safe then they will not trouble themselves over us. I do not know what will become of us here in Troy, but I fear the worst. I fear my son will never grow to manhood, and that this city shall be destroyed, and that I shall be taken from this place to a life of slavery and dishonor. My dear husband, I fear that we shall all be together again soon.

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**Bibliography**

Euripedes, _Andromache_,

Euripides, _The Trojan Women_.

Frazer, R.M. (transl.), _The Trojan War: The Chronicles of Dictys of Crete and Dares the Phrygian_. Indiana, 1966.

Lattimore, Richmond, _The Iliad of Homer_, University of Chicago Press, London, 1961.

Snodgrass, A. M., **An Historical Homeric Society?**,_The Journal of Hellenic Studies_, Vol. 94, 1974 (1974), pp. 114-125

www .stoa. org / diotima / essays / garrison, _Suicide in Classical Mythology: An Essay_


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